Narcissist dating signs

They demand that you say and do exactly what they have in mind so they can reach their desired conclusion. You are a character in their internal play, not a real person with your own thoughts and feelings. Although narcissists want to be in control, they never want to be responsible for the results—unless, of course, everything goes exactly their way and their desired result occurs.


Sometimes that blame is generalized—all police, all bosses, all teachers, all Democrats, and so on. At other times the narcissist picks a particular person or rule to blame—his mother, the judge, or laws that limit what he wants to do. Most often, however, the narcissist blames the one person who is the most emotionally close, most attached, loyal, and loving in his life—you. You are the safest person to blame, because you are least likely to leave or reject him. They are a lot like 2-year-olds. They believe that everything belongs to them, everyone thinks and feels the same as they do, and everyone wants the same things they do.

They are shocked and highly insulted to be told no.

Narcissists have very little ability to empathize with others. They tend to be selfish and self-involved and are usually unable to understand what other people are feeling. Narcissists expect others to think and feel the same as they do and seldom give any thought to how others feel. They are also rarely apologetic, remorseful, or guilty. But narcissists are highly attuned to perceived threats, anger, and rejection from others. At the same time, they are nearly blind to the other feelings of the people around them.

They frequently misread subtle facial expressions and are typically biased toward interpreting facial expressions as negative. This is why narcissists often misinterpret sarcasm as actual agreement or joking from others as a personal attack. Their lack of ability to correctly read body language is one reason narcissists are deficiently empathetic to your feelings. Narcissists also lack an understanding about the nature of feelings.

They think their feelings are caused by someone or something outside of themselves. In a nutshell, narcissists always think you cause their feelings—especially the negative ones.

8 Signs You Are Dating a Narcissist

This lack of empathy makes true relationships and emotional connection with narcissists difficult or impossible. Therefore, narcissists make most of their decisions based on how they feel about something. They simply must have that red sports car, based entirely on how they feel driving it, not by whether it is a good choice to make for the family or for the budget.

They always look to something or someone outside themselves to solve their feelings and needs. Any negative thoughts or behaviors are blamed on you or others, whereas they take credit for everything that is positive and good. They deny their negative words and actions while continually accusing you of disapproving.

They also remember things as completely good and wonderful or as bad and horrible. They can deal with only one perspective at a time—theirs. They may have fears about germs, about losing all their money, about being emotionally or physically attacked, about being seen as bad or inadequate, or about being abandoned.

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This makes it difficult and sometimes impossible for the narcissist to trust anyone else. Narcissists, quite simply, accuse you of all the things that they do themselves. Nothing you do will ever be good enough. As far as they are concerned, your actions will all too often represent a personal affront or even a direct attack, intended to hurt them or undermine them — and they claim this is the reason why your relationship is experiencing problems.

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2. Exaggerated need for attention and validation

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8 Signs You Are Dating a Narcissist

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  • 2. Extreme sense of entitlement.
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  • 1. Emotional insecurity?

They continuously look for reassurance and cannot admit when they are wrong. This type is more insecure and does not feel comfortable being the center of attention. Even though they feel special, they fear that others see their flaws and vulnerabilities and attack them. Closet, or covert, narcissists want to feel important by association.

Therefore, they seek out people who seem to be important or special.

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This type tends to choose partners whom they admire and who makes them feel more important by association. According to Morton, this type might seem caring in public but can often be passive aggressive and manipulative in private. They often make empty promises. A toxic narcissist does not only want to be the center of attention, they want to feel superior.

As a result, he or she puts others down to make them feel inferior. According to Morton, research has shown that this type of narcissist even enjoys hurting others.

5 Early Warning Signs You're Dating a Narcissist

When in a relationship with a toxic narcissist, he or she will frequently put you down. They might openly insult you or give you backhanded compliments and they rarely or never praise you but only criticize you.